


What is purpose?

by springday43393



Category: EXID (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Bar tender Suga l Min Yoongi, Councillor Jeon Jungkook, Doctor Kim Seokjin | Jin, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friend Hani, Friend J-Hope l Jung Hoseok, Home stay Park Jimin l Jimin, Kissing, Life guard V l Kim Taehyung, Serious Injuries, Slice of Life, Teacher Kim Namjoon | Rap Monster, Unconsented makeout, confused feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 12:19:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11230818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/springday43393/pseuds/springday43393
Summary: I am having one of those moments...when I sit there, wondering what my purpose in this world is. Am I needed? Is my life worth something? No matter what we do in this short life we end up dying. So what is the purpose of my life in this world or anyone's for that matter. Some people feel they have purposes… what is purpose to me?Your POV as you meet and interact with the members of BTS and potentially fall in love? Will you find your purpose in them?





	1. P

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy my writing. Sorry it's un-paragraphed.

I am having one of those moments...when I sit there, wondering what my purpose in this world is. Am I needed? Is my life worth something? No matter what we do in this short life we end up dying. So what is the purpose of my life in this world or anyone's for that matter. Some people feel they have purposes… what is purpose to me? I am yet to find out. That is if i ever will.

A blinding light flashes in the train lighting up the dark tunnel around us. The bells ring indicating that the train is soon to stop. It is a cold day in America and yet I am dressed in a summery floaty outfit. Still lost in my confused thoughts I walk quickly down the stairs toward the doors at the bottom of the subway train's carriage. My foot catches and I fall forward...my head dives toward the carriage floor as my mind plummets into blackness.

I wake up with a throbbing head. As my fuzzy eyes adapt to the light I manage to read a sign attached to the roof above my bed.’ Korean hospital resident 20091 -condition critical’. Pffft my condition… critical? Why am I even here? I go to lean across to the tray table beside my bed for a glass of water but I end up flinching in agonising pain.

I then look down at myself and am shocked to see myself in my frilly cream bra and knickers which are patterned with kittens. But more shockingly I see my core covered in a criss cross of stitches. In a state of embarrassment I lean forward to pull up the crisp white blanket that is lying at my ankles and end up having to muffle a cry of pain. I lie back again facing the bed side table and notice a large button within my reach. Phew I can call for a doctor. I reach the short distance and press the rectangular button firmly.

Suddenly the bed snaps up, sandwiching me between it's pillowed sides. My stitches pop out and I scream in agonised pain. A doctor comes running after hearing my distressed cry. A look of amusement, shock and concern covers his face. Large hot tears start to stream down my white cheeks, not just because of the pain but also because of my embarrassment. “Heyyyy it's ok”, he says soothingly as he wipes the tears off my cheek with his smooth thumb. He readjusts the bed. “I am doctor Jin, I will explain your condition to you but first I need to stitch you back up.” I flush red because he is absolutely gorgeous and realise i'm still half naked.

“Don’t worry I will give you an injection so you fall asleep and can't feel anything he says reassuringly”, taking my faces change in colour the wrong way. I am lost in thought (a bad habit of mine) and my face takes on a confused and thoughtful look.“Wait you speak Korean right”, he asks politely. “Y-yesss I-I dooo” I say my voice cracking and rasping because of lack of use. He hands me the glass of water laughing lightly but kindly, sounding like his vocal chords are wiping windows in the process. I take it my fingers brushing his. My heart beats wildly and I once again feel the lack of coverage of my body.

After a few sips he pushes me lightly back by my shoulders and he starts to examine my wounds. I stiffen. No one has seen this much of me before. “Would you be more comfortable if I get you a female doctor?” He questions, a type of respect covering his face. “Ummm I don’t mind i'm fine with you doing it”, I say shyly. “Ok”, he says. “You're going to be asleep for a few hours after I give you this injection. You might end up waking up in a operating room, If so and you need me there with you just ask a doctor or push the button with the bell on it. Ok?” I nod and a feeling I haven't felt for a long time fills me up inside. I am yet to find out what that is. He gently inserts a needle in my arm and swabs it with a alcohol strip. I can't feel or hear anything around me and my vision quickly switches to a murky black.

I awake once again in pain but this time it is muffled by another feeling. Happiness? Well that's something I haven't felt in a long time. Wait i'm in a Korean hospital? That's when I remember Jin. My eyes once again adjust and I see him sitting on a chair beside my bed…. In an operating room? That's when I realise he's asleep. His lip shiny with drool flops from his jaw in a pout and his eyes are lightly closed. He sits hunched, clutching his phone in his hands. It's tilted on an angle and his thumb is keeping the screen turned on. I look at his phone knowing I shouldn't and see he had been messaging his mother.

Mother: Jin are you going to be home soon? The whole family are here to celebrate your birthday. Jin: Sorry mother but i've got someone important to look after at the hospital. The message was sent 5 hours ago and it's now 2 in the morning. My eyes widen as I take in what he has done for me. I look at him and know what I have to do. I slowly sit up and shooting pain fills my body. I slowly and painfully walk through the hall to the nearly closed hospital cafeteria in my kitten underwear and bra. The women who works there gives me a weird look but takes my order. I ask her to charge it to my hospital fees and carry the box slowly back to my temporary room.

As I enter I notice he has woken up. A look of panic is on his face as he frantically searches the operating theatre. As I enter in my embarrassing undergarments his expression changes to one of shock and relief. “Whaaa?” “Happy Birthday”, I yell which makes me crouch over groaning in pain. “Are you ok? How did you know? Wait I haven't even even told you what your condition is yet! You could have got re-injured”! “Well I think I can tell”, I say looking down at my patterned stomach. “Well anyways explain later HAPPY BIRTHDAY”, I try again, and this time it doesn't hurt as much. “Thank you… but how”? “Ummmmm well I saw it on your phone”, I say nervously. He laughs lightly. “Don’t worry It's fine”. You hold the box out in front of you. You can't read his expressions as he gently takes it from your hands. He opens the lid carefully and a surprised expression covers his face as the 3 chocolate layer cake is revealed.

“Um sorry the only one they had was a happy anniversary one”, I say blushing profusely. “Bu..”, before you can finish your sentence his lips are gently on yours. Your eyes open wide and In a state of panic, you step back and start to walk toward the bed lying down. “Thank you”, he says. I don’t know whether he means for the cake or the kiss. I am overwhelmed by a swell of emotions and memories. Bad ones of moments like these. “Ummmm so what's wrong with me”, I ask slowly showing confusion clearly on my face as I try to act normal. “Well you suffered a mild concussion, broke a rib and shred your stomach. I don’t know the details of how it happened but I know you fell in a train.

”Mmmmm” I say pondering how it might have actually happened. I look down at myself and start shivering. The sweat I had built up while walking has now gone cold and sticky. I lean forward to attempt to pull the blanket over myself. Jin beats you to it, he tucks it gently at your shoulders and your shivering ceases. “I am going to wheel to your room now and you will be discharged in 2 days”, he says politely back in professional mode. We are both silent as he wheels me down the empty halls. “Thank You for what you did for me”, I say quietly. “It's fine, I needed to”. He replies with a breath taking smile. 

We arrive at my temporary room and he parks my bed next to the window. The moonlight makes his handsome face glow, his lips shine and his eyes soften. He leans toward me and this time for some unknown reason I don't resist. “Jin?” At the moment our lips were about to connect a middle aged lady walks in. “M-mum”, he stutters eyes wide. So you ditch your family on your birthday to have a fling with one on your patients, SERIOUSLY?!” “NO MUM IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!” “Explain yourselves!” “Mum there's nothing to explain we have done nothing! I have recently given her stitches and when you found us I had just escorted her back to her room”, he says nervously. “Stitches pah where!” I reach down and slowly remove my blankets and I gasp in pain.

“Oh darling i'm sorry she says striding over to me. Here ill help you get decent. Jin privacy please”, she demands. He shoots me a sorry look and leaves us in the room. “Well darling i’m sorry about that, but just remember always use protection”, she adds. My face goes red as I realise what she meant and she winks and laughs, “Just having you on. Now would you like new under garments and a nightgown on”, I nod surprised by this woman's kindness. She helps me change and then summons Jin back in. He scans me up and down looking at my new white laced outfit. “Dear would you go and fetch her a meal?” His face changes to a remembering look. “Yes and she can take her pain killers with it.” He exits the room and I continue to be pampered. Before the meal arrives I fall into a dreamless sleep.


	2. U

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet more of BTS

The next morning he is sitting there again, beside my bed, yet this time he is awake. Pain is flooding through my whole body. Damn I didn't get the pain killers last night. Reading my mind he offers me a glass of water, pills and a light meal on a tray. I take it gratefully and the pain soon subsides. After I ate he left, for it was his day off. A new doctor came in and I didn’t like her in the slightest. I decided not to cooperate with her because I didn’t like her attitude or her ideas on how things should be. I lay there feeling sorry for myself and wondering what Jin was doing until I fall asleep.

The next day was my last day but Jin wasn't there. I reached for my phone to check the time and saw a text flash across my screen. +82 0128131494: Hi this is Jin. I can't make it to see you off today...so maybe we could catch up sometime? I sat there blinking at my phone in shock. Was he asking me out? No he’ll just be asking for a friendly coffee or something. Me: Ok that's fine and yeah let's catch up sometime. As the doctor walked in I was sitting smiling at my phone. “Miss?” “Ummm yeah sorry...so I can leave now?” “Yes you have the hospitals permission please sign this paperwork before you leave and hand it to the lady at reception. I hope your stay here was comfortable.”

I fake a smile, thank her and fill out the paperwork. I use uber on my phone to get to a hotel and when I arrive I plonk myself on the bed. I feel much better but I still have to return to the hospital in a week to have my stitches removed. I’m gonna have one hell of a scar. I sigh but at least I can get back to my normal life. I wonder if i'll be up to going to my new college tomorrow. The next day I wake up early and I feel like I will be ok to do a full day of college. As I leave my house ready to walk to the train station a text pings on my phone. It's from my best friend Hani from back in America.

Hanibabe: Hiiiii bb gal r u feeling better after that fall? Is the scar big? Oh and btw we have a sexy new teacher. I laugh out loud, I missed her...wait we? I reply quickly. Me: I’m alive and the stitches aren't out for a week so we’ll see the scar then. Wait you moved to Korea? What's the new teacher called?? She replies instantly like she was waiting with the message pre-typed. Hanibabe: I moved cause all the other girls at our old college are bitches. Btw he said to just call him Rapmon. It's his first year teaching and he’s only 3 years older than us!! He is just G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S!!!! Me: LOL c u in 10 this is a gr8 surprise xx.

During the train ride I sit in the bottom of the carriage to avoid steps. As soon as I step off Hani has her arms wrapped around me. “People have spread tons of rumors about your terrible accident”, she says worriedly. “So you are now popular gossip”. “They know about this in Korea! How?” “Ummmmm well I may have kinda…” I sigh and groan, not just because of these facts but also because Hani is squeezing my broken rib and stitched area. She realises and quickly releases pressure. “Sorry! I've just missed you SOOOOOOOOOOO much!” I smile at her and then she tugs up my shirt inspecting my stitches. “SHIT THAT MUST HURT!” People turn and stare at us and I quickly pull my shirt back down. “Not in public”, I whisper, trying to keep the laugh out of my voice. She has no shame, but that's good because it keeps my life exciting.

“Oh and I got two new boy friends the other day”, she says casually… “and I said to one I’d hook you up with him”, she says this with an innocent devils smile playing on her lips. “You didn’t?!" She nods pretending to look apologetic. “Text him and tell him no!” She smiles slyly. “Well we're kinda meeting him and his friend tonight.” I sigh in defeat. I'm not the kind of person who can brush people off easily, so she knows how to almost blackmail me into having fun. “FINEEEE! But only this once!” She smirks at me. “You say that every time!”

We head to our class. We both met at our old college 2 years ago, and we have been inseparable since. We are both studying to become nurses and although Hani may seem unreliable she takes her work very seriously. As we come to the door of our classroom my hands go all hot and clammy. I force myself to take a deep breath and enter. I am just on time and as I enter eyes peer at me from behind apple laptops, phones and books. I cast my gaze to the front of the classroom and see a young man in a shirt and jeans staring contently at me. His dimpled smile transfixes me. “Hello miss please come here a second”. I walk to the front of the room. He keeps eye contact as he talks to me and I notice his black eyes are rimmed with light brown.

“It's nice you could make it. I hear you have had an accident so you have missed a bit of class, but by looking at your amazing past year results I am sure you will already be at the level we have started on. If you need any help or need to pull out of class due to injury I am here to help. If you make it through the class please meet me after.” I smile and nod. I'm glad I paid attention to my hair and makeup today. As I sit down I realise Hani Is the only half Korean in this class. I feel sorry for her, but at least she can speak fluent Korean. We sit at two joint desks in the middle of the class. Rapmon Introduces me to the students and they all stare at me with respect and... wonder. They have probably heard all the gossip about my accident.

I follow the lesson easily and my injuries cause me little pain during the class. Afterwards when everyone has left Rapmon pulls me aside. “Do you remember me”, he asks almost hinting and cocking his head slightly. I shake my head and then recognise him. My first boyfriend. “W-wait… Namjoon?” He raises his eyebrows. Did you really forget me that easily. He reaches out and grabs my waist to pull me closer to him but I end up howling in pain. “Oh sorry”, he says in shock staring at my waist. “Is it really bad?” “Uhhh no”, I croak. Before I know it he has gently lifted my shirt and is examining my stitches. “How did you manage these!? So the rumours are true?” I go to pull down my shirt but a soft tingle stops me. He is brushing his fingers gently tracing around my new scars. I pull away quickly like i've been burnt, pulling down my top I run from the class room in confusion.

In my state I end up running right past Hani. She grabs my arm to stop me. “Hey I’m here speedy! “Are you ditching me”, she says with a fake offended voice. She goes to joke with me and then sees a fat tear slide down my cheek. “What happened sweetie”, she says brushing away my tear. My first boyfriend, moved to Korea, left me, Namjoon I sob jumbling up my words. She just holds me gently in her arms and pats my head. She doesn't ask questions she just comforts me. “Do you want me to call the boys and tell them we can't make it?” I shake my head. I know I can't let my emotions get in the way, so I stop crying and smile. “I’m in let's do this!” Her face breaks into a smile and she thumps me on the back. “INJURED LADY!” I tease even though i'm in pain. We both laugh. “So the boys said to meet them at the Seoul long beach. Their names are Drei and J-Hope.” “Great names I say half sarcastically”, as we walk the short distance to the large beach.

As I step onto the soft sand I hear someone shout Hani’s name. She puts away her lipstick and phone and smacks her red newly coated lips together. “HI DREI”, she shouts over the short distance with her sexy voice. He smiles at her and they break the distance between them with a short kiss. She turns and winks at me and I poke my tongue out back at her. I see someone wearing a large teasing, yet handsome smile walk up from behind them. He scrunches up his face, “Drei you player!” I laugh at his act and he turns to me with a smile. “And you are?” He asks politely. I bow playing along. We keep this up for a while and he escorts me to the spot he and Drei had set up earlier. I put my bag down next to the picnic and sit on a laid out rug in the boiling sun. After a while of talking and laughing with J-Hope I come to the realisation that he is the funniest guy I have ever met. He is just so happy and he carries a vibe that makes others around him feel this happiness to.

I start to sweat a bit from the heat and he offers me an umbrella, which I take gratefully. As he passes it to me he leans forward and looks me in the eyes. I feel like i’m now seeing his serious side. With us still both gripping the umbrella he asks me a question that makes my heart beats exhilarate. “Do you have a boyfriend?” But before I could answer Drei and Hani are pulling us up. “COME ON LET'S SWIMMMMM”!!!!!!! “I didn’t bring my togs”, I say a bit relieved I didn’t know about this earlier. “Swim in your bra and knickers, that's what i’m doing”, I sigh. Why did I choose today to wear my skimpy undergarments. Wait am I...I look down my pants. Ohhhhhh jeez… just my luck, i’m once again caught out in my kitten patterns! My eyes widen. “Ummmmmm my stitches don’t look the best and I don’t think the water will be good for them”, I say in a state of panic.

“Oh yeah the ones from that train accident”, Drei asks rhetorically. “Don’t worry my parents are surgical doctors and they say salt water is the best thing for scars or cuts”, Drei says this in an almost know-it-all voice. I bite my lip. I don’t think I can get out of this one. “Are you ok?” J-Hope asks showing his sensitive side (which makes him all the more sexy.) “Ummm yeah”, I say “I'll be fine.” Drei and J-Hope strip to their underwear and Hani strips to a shockingly small lacy pair of undergarments and receives wolf whistles from the two boys in appreciative response. I look around. There is surprisingly no one around, except for an indistinguishable lifeguard in a tower chair scanning the sea. I just do it. I strip off my clothes.

Drei laughs hysterically and then curses at the sight of the state of my stomach. I look down embarrassed. J-Hope comes up to me sensing my uncertainty. “You're really beautiful you know and by the way kittens are my favourite.” He makes a meow sound and swats lightly at my ear making me laugh uncontrollably. Drei and Hani run forward toward the sea, but I can't yet run and J-Hope chooses to stay with me. We walk in silence into the lapping waves. I stop. “Are you ok?” A worried and surprised expression crosses his face. “You go ahead… Serious! I’ll catch up In a tick.” With an inextinguishable look on his face he runs off into the deep water. I start to breath shallow. Why do my feet continue to follow each other, moving forward in a unbroken rhythm when I inwardly scream at them to stop. My biggest fear in life, bigger than death is… the sea. That's how I lost my father… many, many years ago.

The water is now at thigh level and Is ravenously lapping up legs toward my kitten underwear. I want to stop, but I can't. That night when the rip took him. Is one I will never forget. But I still keep walking. The water is now climbing over my stitches sending a stinging sensation through my core. Why does both healing and dying cause pain? I wonder if he felt pain before or during his death. When his lungs filled, was the pain similar to the one I am living now. The water has now climbed above my breasts. The three of them are treading water meters away splashing each other. But something feels off. Why is the water around me so calm. I am now moving quickly past them, struggling to keep my head above the water. So this is how it ends. What is this?...A family tradition or something? I want to give up… so why do my legs keep moving? I am far from shore, my friends can't save me and I am tired. This is the end. This is when I give up.

As I sink I feel the cruel water fill my lungs, seeping through them like they are sponges. But it's painless. My stitches are numb and all my lungs feel like are large weights. I wonder if I will see my father in heaven. I hope he shared the same sensation I am now feeling before he died. This is when I wake wet and cold with the sensation of salt and...mint? On my lips. My stitches and broken rib scream as they are thumped and then like squeezed sponges my lungs release the water and I end up being sick on the sexiest life guard I have ever seen in my life. I try to sit but he pushes me down gently.

“I am currently calling for help. Brunet, fetch her towels and water,” the lifeguard instructs a sobbing Hani. Drei follows her for mental support. J-Hope looks down at me with a panicked look on his face. His skin is streaked with fresh tears. The lifeguard talks through a walkie talkie, still kneeling with me positioned between his legs. After he's finished his ambulance call he leans forward so our faces are miller meters apart and his body is lightly lying on top of mine. I smell mint on his breath and realise he had been giving me mouth to mouth.

I sneeze lightly and he gently wipes my nose. I blush and then realise, I AM IN MY BRA AND UNDERWEAR AND THIS BEAUTIFUL LIFE GUARD IS IN SKINS. I felt his abs on my stomach but for some reason the warmth was subsiding the pain from my stitches. “I’m sorry but I need to keep you warm until brunet gets back with towels. The ambulance should be here soon. “What's your name.” His breath tickles my lips and I absentmindedly tell him. I turn my head and J-Hope wasn't anywhere to be seen and Hani and Drei were half the beaches lenght away. “I’m V”, the lifeguard says. I turn my head and our lips brush. My eyes widen and I try to shuffle back but he reconnects our lips. A warm sensation fills my body. “Still cold”, he asks slightly smirking. “Ummmm no i’m fine”, I stammer just as two worried faces appear surrounded by towels. Drei and Hani cover me in blankets and V feeds me water in small sips.

He lifts my head onto his lap as he does so, but when I go to protest he tips water in my mouth and winks. I give up and let him do what he wants. Minutes later the ambulance arrives and he carries me bridal style, plonking me on a stretcher. “See to her stitches because some may become infected or some might of popped out. Also see to her rib cage and lungs. She may need some sea water drained or extracted”, he instructs the ambulance staff. “I’ll be leaving now”, he states but as he exits the ambulance when the doctors, nurses and my friends backs are turned he plants a quick kiss on my forehead. “Come see me sometime”, and with that he disappears from the ambulance.

My finger travels from my forehead to your lips in confusion. At that moment J-Hope appears, boarding the ambulance right before it leaves. A upset and angry look covers his face and he refuses to make eye contact with me. We travel the whole way to the hospital with Hani crying and hugging me. Drei and Hani asked how i’d got caught and many more things but I answered vaguely. I was currently to confused to detail the small talk. When we arrive at the hospital I get wheeled away toward an operating theatre leaving my friends to just stand there staring after me. As we go In they say I can choose to be awake or asleep during the x-rays and possible operation. 

I gulp and decide to stay awake. The surgeon doctors run a large test over my stitches and found none of them pulled but they ended up cleaning the actually wounds anyway. Then they ran a xray over my rib cage and lungs. Now thank you to CPR, instead of one broken rib I now have 3. They then had to knock me out with pain killers to set my ribs and extract salt water from my lungs. Apparently I have taken In 500 ml more than my lungs can handle. Luckily V had got the rest out so I could survive. After the operations I am wheeled into another room, similar to the one I stayed in at my last trip to the hospital. Then he appears in the doorway. It’s Jin. Your stomach fills with the warm feeling and my lips tingle remembering his on them. He closes the door and walks toward you. “I have been instructed to inform you that you will be receiving counseling… which I think is rubbish, but, the doctors say your two current stays were both to close together and to serious. They believe both accidents may have been… well.... Suicide. My eyes widen.

“Why? What do they have to support that argument? I get caught In a rip, fall in a moving train. THEY WEREN'T MY FAULT AND THEY WEREN'T INTENTIONAL!” I yell this because the fact that people think i’m suicidal rauks me up. I was about to keep yelling, but as I open open my mouth to he kisses me softly, I pull away crying. He seriously knows how to choose the wrong moments. I am to confused for this right now. I run from the hospital even though i’m not going to be discharged for 2 more days. In my mad rush someone grabs my arm before I can run onto the road. It’s J-Hope. When he sees my face streaked with tears he pulls you into a tight hug, but not to tight so that It doesn't hurt your fragile body. I may have only known him a day but it already feels like i’ve known him forever. “You need to go back to the hospital”, he says with a look of concern. I nod lightly. Would you like me to escort you to your room ma’am he says making me laugh. We walk to my door and when we get there Jin is sitting on the edge of my bed with a confused look on his face. “What did he do to you”, J-Hope says growling protectively. I touch my lips and J-Hope sees. He walks briskly in and takes Jins collar. “STOP!” I yell at the top of my lungs which makes my throat sting, ribs ache and my stitches tighten. They both look at me in shock. Please both leave my room N-O-W I state clearly. After they both left I sit on my bed and think about Jin, Namjoon, JHope and V in a state of confusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment your thoughts. Thanks for reading! :)


	3. R

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting more members!

After I have been sitting on my bed staring into space for a while my counsellor arrives. My eyes widen because of his looks. He is tall and slender yet muscular and handsome. I can't take my eyes off him. “Hi i’m Jungkook your councillor. Have you ever had counselling before”? I shake your head and he nods writing this on a clipboard. He continues to write my answers to my details and medical questions and then he starts to question my mental state, my accidents and somehow he knows and asks about my father's death.

I end up bawling and pouring everything out to him. As I do this he sits writing some notes down with one hand on my knee and he occasionally hugs or comforts me. “But I sense there's something more”, he says questioningly after I have told him about my accidents and my father. “Can you explain to me your life? Your love life?” My face tightens and I know he knows he's found what he was looking for. “So has anything happened recently with anyone”? I feel I can truly trust him but the words won't form properly. I haven't told anyone, not even Hani about what's been happening recently.

He leans forward and lifts my chin so our faces are millimetres apart, “put all your trust in me.” My eyes widen at his words and his closeness. “Ummm well, recently i've met a lot of interesting guys who are... Well, interested in me.” He raises his eyebrows and puts his clipboard aside. He leans forward resting his chin on his large hands. “Explain them to me and what makes them interesting.” I blush eyes wide. “Ummmmmmm well my ex is now my teacher, he left me to come to Korea two years ago and well I guess you know where that one's heading. Also a doctor at this hospital whose name I probably shouldn't mention but he was very kind to me. There was also a college boy my friend introduced me to, he was really funny and kind. Also today I was rescued by a very friendly nearly too friendly lifeguard.” I sigh. “I don’t know why i’m telling you all this.” He smiles. “Are these incidents affecting your mental state?” “N-no.” He leans closer to you. “Then add me to that list.”

He gently kisses your lips and slips a piece of paper into your hand. “Call me if you have any problems between the times in our weekly appointments”. I nod lightly because I can't think of anything else to do in this situation. He gets up to walk to the door to exit the room. “It was a pleasure to meet you. I look forward to seeing you soon.” I sit there confused until I fall asleep. “The next day I pluck up the courage to make a much needed visit to a much appreciated person. As I walk down the short length of the beach toward the lifeguard tower I start sweating. I cross my fingers hoping it's his day off. Once again luck isn't on my side. He recognises me instantly and jogs over grinning goofily. “Couldn’t resist staying away could you baby girl”, he says half teasingly. “T-thank you for saving me the other day. I really appreciate it.” “Any day if it means rescuing a maiden in her kitten underwear”, he jokes which causes me to blush.

“Hey did I manage to break anything the other day?” He says seriously which really surprises me. “Ummmm only two ribs”, I say awkwardly. “S-sorry”... “hey breaking two ribs is better than loosing my life”, I say jokingly. He relaxes and laughs with me. “Would you like to go get a drink”, he questions with a sly smile. “Sure… I know a good place nearby.” As I lead him up the steps to my new fav cafe his face scrunches. “I meant at a bar”, he says pouting. “Well I meant at a cafe”, I say in a strong tone as I try not to laugh at his shocked face. I pull him In by his arm and order us both an iced coffee each. “Whats an iced coffee”, he asks with a confused and scared expression on his face. “It's a surprise and It's delicious”, I say with a smirk. I am not only amused that he doesn't know what an iced coffee is but also by the fact that when he is not sure about something he loses his cocky confidence.

I poke my tongue out at him, “besides it's way better than any alcohol”. “Now that is a large claim”, he says with a cheeky square smile. At that moment the barista places our drinks in front of us. Once the barista leaves his eyes widen as he takes in the cream topped creation. I watch him as he takes the straw between his lips and takes a long sip. “IT'S SO DELICIOUS”, he shouts eyes shining. I laugh at him, not just because of his out burst but also because he has cream dripping off his lips and down his chin. He beams. “You were right this is better than any champagne!” He still doesn't realise he has something dripping down his face. “You have something on your chin”, I say shyly handing him a napkin. He thanks me with a sly grin on his face.

“Ummmmm I kinda need to go”, I say. He looks at me with a cheeky expression. “Stay with me”. I am a little taken aback. “I-i'm not discharged from the hospital. I just came to thank you, so… thank you.” And with that I get up, pay for our drinks and leave. I’m going to be in so much trouble I say checking the time on my phone. I’ve been gone from the hospital for one and a half hours. Someone is bound to have realised. I start to sprint. When I arrive back in my room minutes later out of breath from running I don’t think i’ve been caught. I slowly open the door to my room slipping in quickly as I close it. I sigh and lean my forehead on the door smiling in my victory. That is when I hear a cough. I slowly turn around with a guilty look on my face. Whyyyyyy?!

Jin and about 10 other doctors are standing there along with Drei, a sobbing Hani and J-Hope. Jin sighs in relief and Hani and J-Hope start crying. That is when I get ambushed by pissed off doctors. They start asking me where i’ve been and many more questions which I just blank. I start to push my way through them and go to comfort a crying J-Hope while Drei takes care of a snivelling Hani. “I thought something terrible had happened to you”, he sobs. “I was just getting an iced coffee”, I say patting him on the back. He pulls me into a tight hug which we stay in for a while.

The doctors then make my friends leave so they can properly question me. Jin stands to the side with a straight face. After they have got all the information they need and have lectured me on hospital rules they leave all except for Jin. He strides over to me and pulls me to his chest. “You were with the lifeguard?” How did he know? You pull away and he just grabs your wrist. “Let go.” He does as I ask, his face softens. “Please don’t do that again”, and with those words he leaves. Do what again? Don’t have coffee? Well I can't obey that one.

My phone buzzes. I glance at the screen to see two messages, one from Hani and one from… my mother's partner? I open his message first and am surprised to see… an invitation? Vict: Hello darling girl <3… me and your mother were wondering if this year you would like to celebrate your birthday in Japan. We have booked your flights and have cleaned out our spare room for you to stay in. xx ~Vict~. You just stare at the message. The start seemed to sound like he was inviting you but as you got further into the message it got harder to slip out. That man always gets his way. You decide to say no and you type just that.

You then move onto the next text. Of course it's from Hani. Hani: OMG OMG OMG go to ward 2 and to the 19th room. Me: What? Why? She instantly texts back. Hani: It's a surprise. Me: It's 6:00pm. I can't barge in at night. Hani: Don't worry they won't mind. I give up and start navigating my way through the halls. I have no clue why i’m doing this. I arrive outside the room after asking a dozen doctors for directions. I knock on the door. “Come in!” I instantly recognise it as Jin's voice. I am relieved it is him.

As I open the door the sounds from a portable speaker flood to my ears. I stand there wide eyed as I realise who the patient is. “N-namjoon?!” He opens his eyes and smiles. “You came.” Jins expression changes to a confused one. You answer the question on his face. “This is Namjoon my college teacher.” Jin nods politely. “I want to be more to you. Remember what we had. Distance won't get in the way anymore.” Your eyes open wide and Jin busies himself elsewhere. “Did you hit your head”, I ask seriously. He just laughs. “No I am just getting checked because I have a rash on my thigh. “I’m sorry but i’ve got to leave”, Jin says quickly striding from the room.

Me and Namjoon are both left there, him staring at me and me looking away, embarrassed. Before I know It he is swiftly off the bed and has me pinned against the wall, his intense eyes stare into my soul. “N-namjoon s-stop!”, I cry out repeatedly hitting him on the chest. “I know you still want me.” With that he roughly and harshly pressed his lips against mine. I start crying hot tears and I keep hitting him but he won't stop. Without breaking the one sided kiss he repeatedly growls on my lips, “I know you still want me.” He shoves me onto the bed.

Before I can scream out he lies on top of me and greedily re-attaches his lips. He starts to undress me and my stitches pain courses through your body. I keep crying but I give in. I have no energy left. I am trapped in my own body.

That's when the door opens. Namjoon doesn't notice and he continues to pull my underwear down. He soon notices the presence of another person and turns his head. At that moment Jungkook's fist connects to Namjoon’s jaw. I lie there shivering in shock and pain. Namjoon sits there clutching his bleeding chin. “I’m guessing this is the teacher that's your ex you were talking about”. I nod. “What a coward”, Jungkook snarls in his face. He then walks over, fixes my clothes and carries me to my room bridal style. I hug his neck and cry. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure he doesn't get away with this”, Jungkook says comfortingly as he sits on your bed with you on his knee. I thank him through sobs. I then realise I am sitting on his knee. I jump off quickly and he laughs at me. “Would you like me to leave now”, he asks with a small smile. I nod even though I want him there to comfort me. “If you need anything just call me”, he says giving me a light hug as he exits my room.

I sit there thinking about the Namjoon incident. When the door opens I cringe on instinct. “Hey are you ok”, Jin says in an extremely high pitched worried voice. He pulls me into a hug. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn't have left you there with him.” I pull away quickly, now nervous about having physical contact with men. He seems to understand and gives me some room. “That's some ex you've got there”, he says in an angry and protective voice. “Yeah”, I croaked wiping away my tears. Yet even after what he did to you, after his words, you know you still feel something. Even if you don’t want to admit it to yourself. “Ummm well I better get going. I was just checking if you were ok. If you need anything just call me.” And with that he disappears. I hug my knees to my chest and fall asleep curled into a ball.

  
I wake up the morning with a new way of thinking. I dreamed about the incident all of last night. Namjoon has helped you to realise. You can't trust men. I smile to myself. At that moment I discard all of my trust. It may sound childish but I just want to protect myself. Because I wasn't cautious I ended up being taken advantage of. I’m not going to let that happen again. I then call for a doctor to ask if I can be discharged today. I put on a perky act and a large smile. She gives me a weird look. “Um well I suppose you could. I’ll just have to talk to the head doctor.” I smile fakely and hug her tight. She doesn't seem to sense it's an act and she hugs me back just as tightly. When we pull away she looks at me with a… lustful expression?

I look at her confused and she leans forward and gently kisses my lips. My eyes widen. I mentally add to my list not to trust girls aswell aswell as boys. As she pulls away she slips a piece of paper presumably with her number on it into my hand. She laughs lightly at my expression and then leaves the room to hopefully get my discharged. I sigh. How many people do I currently have feelings for? I count them out in my head. Taehyung, Namjoon, Jin, Jhope, Jungkook and now I think I might like this lady doctor. I am so confused. I sit there and wait for the news on my discharge. Later the female doctor walks in blushing with three male doctors in tow. One of them is Jin and he won't make eye contact with me. I sit there in excitement. I stand up clutching my purse. “Thank you sooooo much for having me”, I say. “Where is the paperwork?” “Ummmmm miss?” The male doctor on the right says staring at me with a serious expression on his face. “You can't be discharged for another two weeks.” He says this nervously. My smile fades and anger bubbles inside me. “Miss we have more tests needing to be done and you are due for 3 x rays soon.”

He sees my devil expression and steps back. I start to walk away and both Jin and the female doctor grab my hands. “I’m going to the toilet !” I shout in anger. They both let go looking hurt. I don’t care. I keep walking. I lock myself in the cubicle and cry silently. That's when I know I need to get out of there. Above the toilet is a window about a metre wide and fifty centimetres across and I am on the first floor. There shouldn't be much of a drop. I silently climb onto the toilet lid and hear a knock at the door. “Ummm are you ok?” I freeze, it's Jin. I say the first thing that comes to my mind. “Uh yeah i’m just taking a dump.” You can just imagine his shocked expression as he speaks. “Oh uh well ummmmm, i’ll ah leave you to it then.” I internally laugh at his embarrassment and continue with my escape plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Please comment your thoughts on my writing.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments to help me improve my work.


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